Twincest Oneshots
by GrimmUlquigrrrl
Summary: Here's a small collection of oneshots written about everyone's favorite set of twins! They vary from K to M, please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Hikaru and Kaoru were inseparable, right?

Wrong.

That's what Kaoru had thought too, for the longest time, for fifteen years. Then, all of a sudden, this new person came into their lives and broadened their world, and then Hikaru was ebbing away from him, slowly but surely. They'd slept together since they were infants, but now Hikaru wanted his own room. They'd worked on homework together since they started school, but now Hikaru went to study groups without him. They'd eaten together every day of their lives, but now Hikaru spent that time with Haruhi.

Haruhi. There was the problem-not that Kaoru didn't like Haruhi, because he really did. It was just that…Hikaru was his. He always had been. But now he wasn't, and it killed him inside. They were still twins, but now they were two different people. How had this happened?

But Kaoru knew how, and he hated himself for hating his predicament. He was the one who had urged Hikaru out of their little nest, wanting what was best for his brother, for the one person he loved more than anything. He could never tell Hikaru that, though, never ever. He knew how his brother would react, and he didn't ever want to put himself through the pain he knew it would bring him. It was better to be in the nest alone, always able to hope that Hikaru get tired of this game and come back someday, than to sabotage all his chances and end up jumping out of the nest all together, to fall to the ground far below. Sometimes, he wished he could. Sometimes, he wished he could go to the bridge across Shimeji river and leap over it. It would only hurt for a second.

He couldn't though. He knew Hikaru still loved him, even if only in a brotherly way, and it would tear Hikaru apart not to have his twin anymore. So instead he did the only thing he could do to alleviate the pain-he wrote. He never told anyone, but he was actually quite a good poet. It felt so good to write it all down, to get it onto paper and out of his tortured heart, where it could fester all it wanted and never hurt him more than it already had. When Hikaru was away he sat at his desk and picked up an old quill pen he'd specifically asked for for his birthday. It made him feel more real.

_I want to ball this paper up_

_And throw it in the trash. _

_I want you to find it sitting there,_

_With all my words so brash. _

_I know that it could never be, _

_I know that I shouldn't try,_

_But having you look at me by day_

_Leaves me lonely and aching at night. _

_I wonder if you'd ever read_

_These painful words I write, _

_Or will I still and always be_

_Forgotten by your light?_

_But I never put this where you can see, _

_I light it and watch it burn-_

_I know that I could never bear _

_Your stern and impassioned scorn._

And there Kaoru stopped writing. That was the end of it-of that one, anyway. There was more, there was always more inside him that he longed to set free. He dipped the pen in the ink bottle and wrote more.

_I've felt your eyes upon my face,_

_Caressing me like silk and lace, _

_But can you see the residue trace_

_That I'm bubbling up with tears?_

_I've seen your hands clasp down on mine, _

_Seen you smile the way the sun shines, _

_But can you see the obvious signs_

_That I'm bursting with my fears?_

_You've known me all my life and yet_

_You still don't seem to see_

_The darkness that I hide from you_

_Deep down inside of me._

And another.

_Your eyes are golden as ripe wheat, _

_Your chin as strong as stone,_

_Your hair the color of sunset_

_And your hands are like my own. _

_Your brow is creased by laughing lines,_

_Your mouth turns up with mirth, _

_Your legs are long as summer's end,_

_We are two linked by birth. _

_Forbidden is my misty eye_

_And taboo my longing heart._

_I've yet to send these notes to you,_

_I doubt that I will start. _

_Still I gaze upon your face_

_And feel a grasping tug_

_As we playact what I wish most-_

_I'll never have your love._

Another.

_A haiku is right_

_For speaking of your brilliance_

_And my broken heart. _

One more.

_I drown in the Nethersea,_

_The only light your shining face_

_As I fade out of consciousness. _

_I wish I could have but one taste_

_Of your no doubt glorious heart. _

_I want to bite into its flesh_

_And rip out hunks of skin, _

_I want to make it part of me,_

_And be damned my mortal sin._

_We would begin to go back to where we start._

_Your perfection is unequaled, _

_And though we are identical I know_

_That I could never be the beauty_

A blot of ink stained the page in a sporadic, chicken-shaped splotch as the door opened. The maid? It wasn't the maid.

"Hikaru! What are you doing home so early?" Kaoru asked, quickly slamming his hands down on the paper and not caring if the ink rubbed onto his palm as he stood. "What's wrong?"

"Haruhi and I had a fight," Hikaru said heavily. "She wants to leave me."

"Leave you? You're together?" Kaoru asked, choking.

"You couldn't tell?" Hikaru looked up at his twin in genuine surprise. "I thought you could, since you're the smart one and all. I should have told you. Sorry."

"It's okay," Kaoru squeaked. It wasn't okay.

"It's just-she said she wants to leave me for Tamaki. She says she was just using me, like a toy. I'm not a toy! She's a toy! That's all she is! So why-so why-?" Kaoru barely heard the next words. "Why does it hurt so much?"

That night, after Hikaru cried himself to sleep in Kaoru's arms, Kaoru burned his poems. Hikaru could never see them, never ever. Still, for a second when Hikaru had come in he'd hoped, somehow, that he would. That he wouldn't hate him, that he would accept him and love him the way that he loved Hikaru. But that would never happen.

He watched his words go up in flame, and told himself he was only crying because of the smoke.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there, princess. You're lucky you know! Getting the chance to speak with one of the infamous Hitachiin twins without the other. This will be quite the game!

Except it isn't, and I know it. I smile, I say these things to these unwitting females, but I have no desire to be around them. I don't want to have anything to do with any woman, especially not if I have to do it alone. I hate talking. But you know that, don't you Kaoru? That's why you put this idea in the King's mind. You want me to get to know people, you want me to grow independent of you. And that burns. It stings, Kaoru, the way you're pushing me aside. Aren't we brothers? Aren't we friends?

It doesn't seem like we are anymore. We still sleep in the same bed, but we don't touch in the night. We still have all the same classes, but Haruhi now sits between us. Do you care about her? You do, don't you? You've never cared about anyone but me before. I don't like it. It isn't that I don't want you to be happy-of course I do-but can't you be happy with me anymore? Has our brotherly love act become just that?

I remember a year ago, when we weren't acting, when we were lovers. We would sleep flesh up against each other, laughing at anyone who dared to get near because they were fools. Our walls were too high, our defenses too strong. We looked the same, we laughed the same, we cried the same, we were the same. Now we're different. How did we become different? We are two halves of the same whole, we are a glass ball that was knocked from the table and fractured in two. We are the same coin, only two different sides. But now-now we are nothing alike. You've grown without me.

I'm alone. For the first time in fifteen years, I am alone. It's lonely here, Kaoru, in this world that used to be two. Somehow it's become a world of one, and it's horrible and cold, a flat grey land as opposed to the towering golden mountains and glowing pink skies. Whenever we play the "Which one is Hikaru?" game, and no one can tell the difference, it feels like we're one again. It hurts when the game is over. It hurts when you turn away just before I kiss you, claim your lips as mine in front of all those women. It hurts when those tears are real, when I'm so childish I say something that hurts you in front of our guests. I just want you to care. Instead I'm pushing you away even more. But you know me, surely you see this?

You're saying that you want our world to expand. That's fine, I can handle that, if it's for you. But you're not expanding our world, you've split our world into two. I'm not a part of you anymore. How long will you keep lying to yourself? This isn't for me; it's for you.


End file.
